Physics says I can’t lift a train with my bare hands. Psh. Can’t tell ME what to do!

Who else is watching this in 2025!?!?

I was uhhhh…trying to shampoo myself REALLY well.

They told me about a Dark Plagus dude and some tragedy. I spaced out but I’m pretty sure the lesson was to always keep partying.

I didn’t get communist vibes from that book at all. The little guy was just trying to get the ring back to Mordor.

Safety first though!

Probably able to carry away more heat than water. I want to say the Soviets tried this with a submarine but the Royal navy kept stealing the sub for breakfast.

What pox have you brought to this accursed land?

This is probably what Monet wanted to paint but he chickened out at the last minute every time.

I can never get my hands to itch and I breath too easily. There must be a better way!

Saxo Seal’s Greatest Hits Vol. 5

• Seal of Love
• You Clap I Toot
• I’d Do It For A Fish
• Slippery Blues

It’s YOUR turn to jerk off into the ice cream!

“Ugh! I friggin hate Mondays!!!”

I definitely make dramatic sound effects when playing with my cat.

HELLO. YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED AS…(raspy trucker voice) “Da next Pope”…PRESS 1 TO ACCEPT. PRESS 2 TO SPEAK TO A CARDINAL.

Step 1: Put it in wrong. Step 2: Put it in…wrong!?
Step 3: Magically it works.

Ey this’ll get ya arrested in Boston.

Yup! You can make custom camos, custom decals, place crew members (in beta version), and fight in custom battles or missions. Some communities even have fun competitions.

Hey man. I could totally use that for…some lemonade I could maybe make maybe.

Oh hell yeah. (T-Rex sounds)

Derek needs to be on the sandwich offender list.